Are You Ready For A New Golf Caddy (long enough joke for 18 holes)?

September 12th, 2009
Dew Drop asked:


Sam approached the clerk behind the counter in the pro shop and said, “I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.”

The clerk behind the counter says, “The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this. We just got 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you’re willing to take one with you out on the course and if you will come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today.”

Sam anxiously accepted the man’s offer.

He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, “I think my driver will do the job.”

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, “No sir. Use your #3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole.”

Hesitantly, Sam pulled out his #3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green. Delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.

As Sam pulled out his putter, he said, “I think this green is gonna break left to right.”

The robot then again spoke up and said, “No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left.”

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice.

His luck didn’t end there, his entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the clerk behind the counter asked, “How was your game?”

Sam excitedly stated, “It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week.”

A week passed, and excited, Sam returned to the pro shop.

Upon entering the pro shop he turned to the man behind the counter and said, “I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please.”

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to Sam and said, “Well, the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints.”

Confused, Sam cried, “COMPLAINTS? Who in the hell could’ve complained about those robots? They were incredible!”

The clerk sighed and said, “Well, it wasn’t their performance. It was that they were shiny silver metal, and the glare from the machine was blinding to other golfers on the fairway.”

Sam said, “So then why didn’t you just paint them black?”

The clerk nodded sadly and replied, “We did. And then four of ‘em didn’t show up for work, two filed for welfare, and the other two robbed the pro shop.”


  1. blondejedimaster - September 14th, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    Ah that was good, ******… But still funny.

  2. Greeneyed - September 16th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    thats sad

  3. segat - September 16th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Naughty but nice hehehehe!!

  4. Beth B - September 18th, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    LOL alirght who other then me jumped to the eand and started to laugh, old one but still funny

  5. ♥Sumthan ya want♥ - September 18th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    Thats wrong….INCREDIBLY HILARIOUS…but just wrong…lol

    We are SO going 2 hell for this…u for telling this joke and me for laughing like psych patient at it! he he

    Keep em’ coming

    Wait…wait about painting them an olive skinned color…mexicans are hard workers, they do jobs that no one else wants 2 do, we can even pay them under the table…but then again they’ll probably want Social Security…lol

  6. Blonde at Heart - September 18th, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    hahahahahaha!! Thats sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!!

  7. naughtygirl0206 - September 20th, 2009 at 9:49 am

    This joke was so racist

  8. ChicoMan - September 21st, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    I like Sumthan ya want’s answer… but the problem would be that they would be deported, leaving a shortage, and those that came back would get rusty from swimming the river. Just kidding. I am Hispanic myself.

  9. Leadfoot - September 22nd, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    That was a funny one for sure. They should have just buffed the metal and taken the shin off them. ha ha.

  10. chexychix - September 25th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    LMAO. hahahahahaha… ohhh you’re in trouble, you’re a wanted guy with them blacks. LOL, still stalking you, LOL..

  11. Sang - September 29th, 2009 at 3:22 am

    hahaha by far the best one i heard. nice.